Sinful Muslim

Sinful MuslimSinful Muslim
Jino asked 5 years ago
  1. I am 25 years old i have been married for 5 years, I have two little boys. Me and my husband are cousins ​​but we had never talked before and we got married within a week and we never got the chance to get to know each other before marriage. He is kind to his children and works but me and him are constantly arguing we cannot go out one day without arguing about something. when he and I started to have problems, I started talking to another man my boss. Me and the men stopped talking and after that I started talking to another men that I study with and we still sometimes do. we’ve done some haram stuff together and I’m ashamed of myself. I can’t hide this anymore for my husband and I want to tell him but if I tell him then I know that hell will open up for me at home. Me and my husband have tried many times to solve our problems but we always come to the same thing we do not understand each other. we have talked about divorce several times. I am totally lost and sometimes I think it’s just better to go kill myself than go before God with all my sins. Sometimes I blame my parents  for all of this how I grew up with no love and I was always afraid of them. It was more important to my parents that no one talks about his daughter and have 4 houses than for them to pray 5 times a day. I am so tired of life and see no joy I wish I had never done these sins and with my man I am in lost and don’t know what to do.