Ridda or psychological issue

Ridda or psychological issueRidda or psychological issue
Lamia asked 8 years ago

After a struggle that lasted beyond half a year with waswas of cursing and kufr and ridda, i started saying the cursing and kufr words in my heart voluntarily and no body can convince me that it is just an obsessive thought, but believe me i have repented beyond ten times and spent a full day repeating the shahadatayn i have burnt, bitten and beaten myself to stop yet no positive result is to be found, I try hard but I just can’t control myself,  I can’t refrain from saying the kufr words in my heart, I feel completely lost I don’t know what to do to make myself stop and believe me this is no longer mere waswas, I know and I feel how I say these horrid things voluntarily. Please help I feel like I am dying……