Purity and waswas

Purity and waswasCategory: ReligionPurity and waswas
Doea Hussain asked 4 years ago

Asalamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuhu,
Im falling apart.. I found this on the internet and its the best way I can put my situation in words: My waswas has gotten so worse I cannot pray? In prayer my pronunciation does not come out (mainly with the quiet prayers – Dhur and Asr), outside prayer it is not as bad, it takes 30+mins to pray 4rakahs, I keep repeating verses, Tashahhud etc, Im scared it will make me leave Salaah, I love my deen but waswas has made it very difficult for me, this makes me wanna cry, it has ruined me, I have no solution (I have tried a lot e.g ignoring, saying authu billah – I want to try and pray 2 rakaats everytime I fall into the waswas  so shaytan stops, but im scared its bidah I also don’t wanna do ruqya because theres a hadith that the believers that will go into Jannah without account are those who stayed away from it)  , pls help ! This started to happen to me ever since I heard that surah al fatiha is obligatory and you must say it correctly.
Im also very OCD about urine since I heard that it is where most of the grave punishments are. I have family members who don’t take this belief seriously and I feel like they don’t clean properly. I feel like everything around the house is dirty. Even when I (Im female) do istinjaa I stay long in the shower to make sure its all gone. im always worried about this…
Im giving up slowly and I feel like im going to hell because im not purified or doing well enough. I cant even have kushoo in my prayer.. Im so broken at the moment.. my parents are even fed up with the way I pray and how long I stay in the shower.. they keep telling me its waswas but its Ramadan and I still have this situation? I did find out  theres still some small shayateen out in Ramadan somewhere..
Oh.. im giving up slowly PLEASE HELP!! PLEASE!!
Jazak Allah Khair