Asalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatu
i have a question regarding polygamy In Islam.
Can you please explain to me the following;
1) The only verse for polygamy states an if condition (IF you FEAR) in the beginning of the verse before ‘allowing’ the marriage of up to 4 Women. An if condition as far as I know only allows something if that condition is met. What about those who don’t have orphans (are not guardians of orphans) or don’t have that ‘fear’ can they still marry 4 Women? And how so?
2) The word “yetama” which means “orphans” has been wrongly translated into “orphan girls” in ‘sahih’ translations and the word “[other]” is ADDED to the Quran translation to make it make sense in accordance to that hadith. If we take these away the verse will be as follows “And if you fear that you will not deal justly with the orphans (male & female) then marry those that please you from the women, in twos or threes or fours” If we don’t add or change any word from the Quran, Doesn’t this mean the women FROM those orphans? That if you have fear you cannot take care/deal justly with all those male and female orphans you may marry from among them the females?
3) The Quran talks about monogamous relationships being the norm and about “replacing a wife” not “adding” a wife which means it was the norm and polygamy was an exception which was revealed after the battle of uhud. That exception was made when talking about orphan girls.
4) If this was about Mahr as the Hadith states it to be the reason, why would a man who refuses to pay mahr to only one orphan girl pay mahr to more than one woman or be allowed to marry more women?
5) The prophet Pbuh did not marry for lust or even love except in the case of Khadija and then Aisha. Separately. Most of the women he married were orphans, captives and widows. Doesn’t that mean something?
6) The surah starts and is focused on orphans and their well being so how can this be about the sexuality of men? Scholars give the reason that it is better to be married than to have a ‘secret girlfriend’ but there is no proof that this allowance is because some men apparently cannot control themselves (which is scientifically not even true). The prophet didn’t advise anyone who finds someone else attractive to marry her in fact: “Jabir heard Allah’s Apostle (may peace be upon him) say: When a woman fascinates any one of you and she captivates his heart, he should go to his wife and have an intercourse with her, for it would repel what he feels” Book 8, Number 3242
8) How do we know that this allowance is to make sure every woman is married and not about financial support of all women who have no fathers/husbands? Since men are maintainers/supporters of women? Because even if there was a man for every woman in the world there will still be women who will die without being married. We can never in any case make sure all women are married. Thats nasib and not in our hands. Doesn’t this mean that the main purpose for the exceptional allowance of polygamy in war times is to maintain women who have no financial support anymore? For food ect? Who have no fathers or whose husbands died in war? This is also evident in what the prophets companions did; they married women who lost their fathers and husbands in war solely because they had no support (Abu Bakr and Umm Ruman For eg)
9) Some famous scholars have said its bec there are more women than men but the ratio of men to women is roughly equal. In fact as of today the men to women ratio is 50.4% to 49.6%. So there are more men than women. It only becomes true when there is big war in a country and a lot of men died which is when the ayah was actually revealed.
10) If even some men married even two wives it would leave a lot of men without wives. Why is it that we care about a woman having the chance to marry (unless it’s about financial support for food or something), but we don’t seem to care about a man not having a wife? Some famous scholars have said if a woman doesn’t get married she’ll become “public property” (even tho the reasons for prostitution are never ‘not being married’) what about a man? Even though we claim it is men who cannot control themselves sexually and should get married. What happens to these poor men don’t we care about them sinning and doing haram if other men married multiple wives and left no wife for them?
If Allah SWT clearly and without any conditions allowed polygamy then we would accept it because Allah knows best but the explanation of this hadith, the need for the addition of words to the Quran and the context and what scholars say the reasons are do not make sense nor benefit the orphans or women.
Are there any other verses or proofs from the Quran (or confirmed sunnah) that allow polygamy, explain it’s conditions and that can clear my doubts?
I have asked these questions so many times to scholars and haven’t gotten an answer except one which is not fact based & that don’t clear/answer my points or “it is a man’s right”. Please get back to me soon. I will eagerly await your clear answer referring to my points above. Thank you very much. Jazakillah♥️
Asalamualaikum warahmatullah wabarakatu