Marriage

Wakeeb asked 3 years ago

Salaam I am writing to you in private because my marriage is at the point of breaking down. I have been married for 3 years. It was an arrange marriage set up by the families. After the initial meeting with the two families and half an hour of private 1-2-1 time at her home we made a descision a week later to go ahead and get married. In that week we only messaged via email and within 3/4 months we were married. For 3 years of my marriage life we lived in a family setting and my experienced difficulties in the home. I won’t go so into the details as I want to initially be brief. We moved out last year and it seems like even with less parents expectation and no responsibility towards the family home we are still struggling. I’ll be the first to say that I haven’t been at my best even though I made a lot of sacrifices for my wife. I have stayed with my wife because even though I’m not the most practising person I do have a fear of god and to know I didn’t fulfill the major daily challenges I set myself (biggest being quit smoking) I wouldn’t feel at ease of ending it, however my biggest challenge is procrastinating on issues that are difficult to confront that we only speak about it once in a while and where we do we fall apart in disagreement. We have had counselling but as I was now paying rent in our flat I couldn’t sustain the professional counselling sessions. I don’t know what more to say without writing 10 pages but I need help. I wanted to give up my bad habits and than seek advice but I even feel so low that I don’t know if I can. On the other hand my wife is someone who suffers from a lot of anxiety even before marriage and our expectations of each other now seems to be at a cross road My first questions would be if I could speak to someone who I feel comfortable talking about my problems. Can you help or point me to someone in the UK who I can talk to about marital situations. Even if I can save my marriage I want to know how I should conduct myself during this tonight time. I can only be brief until I hear a response. Wasalaam