Marriage

Hira asked 6 years ago

Aslamulaikum brother, my topic is something that many people laugh about and say that i am stupid, it is something very special to me and it has been haunting my mind for a very long time. I am 16 years old and i have been best friends with a guy for a year, we have known eachother longer but a year ago, we decided we wanted to get married when we were old enough. I have a lot of family issues that i deal with and he is the only person who listens to me and helps me with my problems. At the start we used to hug and hold hands but my mum found out and told me to end it, we were both immature and our language wasnt too good either which is why my mum dislikes him. Me and this boy have continued to stay friends and we have also said we will still get married when we are older. My feelings have grown stronger and ive tried to hide them away and tell him to stay away many times but, it wont work because im not strong enough to go through heartbreak. I an deeply inlove with this boy because he has changed a lot. He reads 5 times namaz in mosque and he reads the Quran and he has done this since the age of 7 but recently he has started getting more interested in Islam and he constantly prays that we get married one day. We both want our Nikkah done so that we wont do anything haram, i dont want to lose my families honour and respect. My mother already dislikes him and im worried that if i tell her that we want to marry then she will shout at me and get angry. Im stuck because i want to be happy and to do that, i want to be married to him. I want to be able to hug him without people saying we are bf and gf, i am told by my whole family that i am mature for my age and i concentrate on my studies a lot. This boy also helps me with my studies which is why i am passing them. My family problems arent something i can brush away and they are serious long term issues. I really do hope you can help me, Brother, i so not wish to have a haram relationship and i want to get married so that i can do everything the right way. His family is also very islamic and i want to become more islamic once im married, we have talked about going hajj together and repenting to God. He has made me a better person, i just hope my mum understood that im passing my exams because of him giving me motivation and that he maks me a better person in general, i love my mum with all my heart because she has raised me and my brother without my father and im so proud of her for coming this far, i dont want to put pressure on her because my brother has a big problem which has affected us all, he is transgender and this is another issue which is hard for us. Its wrong to be like that but at the same time it hurts me seeing my brother upset because he feels as though he is a woman, please get back to me soon, Inshallah God will guide me