marraige trust issues

marraige trust issuesmarraige trust issues
yunis asked 8 years ago

Salam A’laikum, my marraige life is complicated, but to give you a background,
1. I was seperated from my wife for two years, I had been trying to see my 2 year old child, she had refused so we went court. now I see my child alhamdullah.Issues which led to break up, i had been working abroad, she was staying at my mothers, they had a dispute, my mother requested she leave, she left unwillingly, and lived at different places, she was in need to fix a VISA. and so did alot of damage to our marraige relationship, including losing money, police arresting me for ‘harassment charge’ i text compulsively because i wanted to see my child, and so I criminal/harrassment charges on me. now i am struggling to find a stable job, this all took a toll on my mental/emotional wellbeing, which i am still recovering from.
2. Alhamdullah I decided to move on when i won my child contact, but this ramadhan (2016), she had called me, and after 2 weeks, we decided to reconcile and start over with the help of Allah, well this was my intention. But the English divorce paper had come through, and islamically i still have the marraige certificate from a muslim country.
3. I really don’t trust her, and she feels the same i think, she lives alone with my child in an accomodation provided by the government, I am not to be with her as this can cause issues with housing, unless they are notified. but as i have a trust issue with my wife, i am not sure what to do?
This was all becoming alot, so she went for a holiday abroad for 3 weeks, I said not now later, but she insisted and paid for herself, she made me write an email, saying it’s okay for my child to have a holiday and so forth (a consulting email). as this is required now by UK court, i was suprised she asked me for it, as I had started to build trust with her, anyway i chose to ignore it. on the night of her return, I was awaiting in anticipation and joy, but shockingly she turned on me and shouted at me to return the house keys and leave,. and also told me our marraige is now questionable and I must speak to her father to tell him i want his daughter back, to continue staying with her, i said i’m not ready to speak to her dad now, and was really upset as i had spoken with him before the issue started and he hanged up on me saying go to deal with your marraige and child issues through the court.
This Trust issue ongoing in my relationship, is eating me up, due to the 2 years of issues we faced, we are both on edge, and afraid of being together, especially me the man, as I always think if we have a big argument or i become so aggressive then she will report me to the police without and get me arrested, also I get to care-free and relaxed with her at home she get’s upset and irrated and starts bullying me, until i get angry and tell her to stop and she laughs and goes, she has already told me to leave the house twice. and so i think for divorce from her and have told her, now, can you please advice on the most suitable option please, thank you for your time and reading, may Allah reward you.