Salam alaikum. My name is Amanda, I am a 18 year old born Muslim girl alhamdulilah. I am having trouble. I am losing faith in islam, I stopped praying my prayers. I recently left a mentally emotionally and physically abusive relationship that lead me to depression medication and therapy. I crush my pain of missing my ex partner with listening to music every single day.
I have thoughts of innapropiate adultery, of drinking weed and alcohol and taking off my hijab to heal the wound, the pain, and to just give up on deen because I am not suited for it according to my current beliefs.
I do not know what to do. I want to cry, but I can’t. I want help, but I’m not helping myself.
What’s your suggestion?