in need of guidance

in need of guidanceCategory: Generalin need of guidance
Ali asked 5 years ago

For the past 4 years I have abused my sight on and off. Sometimes I go 2-3 weeks without looking at something impermissible and then I retrac. Whenever I’m outside it is easy for me to lower my gaze but in privacy it can be very difficult upon me. Mind you I’m also student of a knowledge and I know that معاصي تميت القلب but I just don’t know how to increase myself in fearing Allah more often. I also lost the ability to sleep recently. In fact sleep comes to me when others are awake and I try to force myself to stay away so I don’t miss some of my prayers but it’s so tough to be honest. Am I being punished for my shortcomings and is there away out for me from this mess?