I have been married to my wife for over 2 years now. When we were first talking and getting to know each other, she asked about my past. I was very uncomfortable with this and I basically said I did not have a past really. I lied.
The reason I did not reveal it was because I was ashamed of the person I was and the things I did. My wife genuinely did not have a past and I chose to hide mine because I did not want to ruin a potentially good thing before it even started. Even during our marriage she asked about my past and I still said the same thing.
My wife has now discovered about my past and she understandably hates me, says she doesn’t love me anymore, that I make her sick and she can’t stand to look at me and wishes I die.
I have begged for forgiveness with Allah about my past, I have been in tears about it numerous times. I have told my wife as to why I did not tell her about it and she will not accept my reasons, saying that our marriage is finished. I have begged her to forgive me and give me another chance.
On top of this, I have made mistakes in my marriage which I have learnt from and repented and my wife has forgiven me for them, saying that she was starting to trust me more. But discovering my past seems to be the last straw with her.
I understand I have done wrong, I should have told her. But I did not because I hated my past and wanted to bury it and not let it affect my future.
I have not eaten for days, my wife won’t speak to me and I am beyond depressed. I do not know what to do.
What shall I do? What can I do or say to try to calm my wife and give me another chance? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.