I want to know if I am doing the right or wrong thing as I am going out of mind. I am currently living with my husband, his parents and brothers and sister. I have no privacy and no where to go apart from my room and even there my sister in law will come and sit with me and my husband at night and just won’t leave. When she leaves we just argue because night time is my only time to speak to my husband and I can’t even do that. There are no boundaries in the house when we go out, we always get called of when we’re returning. My mother in law is always upset about something and wants me to be the perfect daughter in law, she is always baby’ing my husband who is 27 with another child on the way in Sha allah. She is always asking him what’s wrong, trying to quickly make him food do his laundry in front of me if I do salaam half of the time she doesn’t reply to me. The children of the house including my husband do nothing at all. But my mother in law gets really upset that I’m the daughter in law when people come I’m the front face, my father in law has told me honeymoon period is over. Me and my husband do not even have a simple breakfast together it is all done with the family in front of the TV which I’m not use too. Everything revolves around the TV. I get upset that my husband lays on the sofa all day and just watches Tv and spends time with the family and doesn’t even acknowledge how much it’s affecting me. Instead of telling their son to get up he’s brought someone’s daughter to the house my mother-in-law puts a face on with me for why I’m being moody with my husband and makes herself look good all the time.
When we had our first child my husband left to work abroad. I went to my parents because I had just given birth to my son and I could stay with my in laws for all them months it was too long. They turned it into something so big and showed how embarrassing it was for them that I went and stayed with my parents whilst my husband was away for 5 months. No one stopped to understand how can I love their without my husband what would I do all day? It’s uncomfortable I can’t be myself and wanting my own family. Now most weeks my husband is back and goes away for the weekend so I go to my parents again.
My husband has changed and gets very angry and tells me I’m not allowed it makes him look bad, iv cried to him that I can’t stay when he’s not there because I don’t have anywhere to go apart from the room I can’t sit in there all day my father-in-law washes tv all day his brother play PlayStation in the other room what am I suppose to do.
He doesn’t care about anything he just wants me home he has told me I can go out but expects me back for the night, iv told him it’s unfair to want that from me because I fulfil all my duties as a wife I support him in everything. I am being patient but crying behind closed doors every day because I feel like I just have a room partner. My husband is going away again for three months one week after our second child is born and he wants me to live with my in laws. I want to go home in that time I really can’t stay I will go mad, I feel suffocated to have to sit with everyone morning to night. Whether they are nice or not I still have to carry myself a certain way, in front of my own family I can be how I want sit how I want talk how I want I will not get judged. Please, please tell me what am I suppose to do.
Even with my son they wouldn’t let me put him to sleep when I wanted too. I refused any fizzy drinks and father in law kept giving him coke starting from the age of 5 months! I couldn’t even be a mum to my son properly. I do not want to stay here at all let alone in my husbands absence. But I also do not want to do wrong I just want to know am I obliged to stay with my in laws in my husbands absence if my husband says or can I go home. Please help me!!!!!