Divorce and separation

Divorce and separationCategory: RelationshipsDivorce and separation
Humera Hamid asked 3 years ago

‎السلام عليكم‬
Dear Brother, 
I am in need to desperate help and Islamic guidance.
I have been married for 17 years and ‎Marshalla have two children.
My husband told me that he wanted a divorce a few weeks ago. His reason was that he doesn’t believe we are compatible. 
We have had many complications in our marriage. Complications led from him not being honest to me and committing adultry. (I’m not sure If he did anything physical, however speaks to other women behind my back) I have caught him out many times. He bows doesn’t care if I catch him and does it openly in front of me and the children. 
After pleading with him to separate for 3 months Instead of divorce, he reluctantly agreed. 
We have been separated for 4 weeks now. He visits the children and we sit together as a family.
The other night a woman that I had suspected he was involved me called me and told me some things about my husband, including that he told her details about out intimate life and that how our children are disobedient (which they are not). She also told me that he visits her house during parties. Where alcohol is being consumed and music is being played. 
 
My husband is very religious, he prays every salat in the mosque. Also he goes on Jammat within our town and around Essex to spread Islam. It seems he has a double life. He wants me and our children to represent him as the good side. 
He also is part of a face book group called Desi shout out, on which he does live videos about Islam and other topics. The problem is that other women join him on the lives, these woman are not Islamic at all and dress very inappropriately and speak using foul language. 
Are drunk when they are speaking to him. The topics he speaks about go from being Islamic, to what he wants Islam to be. 
I questioned him about this and he says to me that is just how it works. He also tells everyone on the Facebook group that he is single and is looking for a wife. 
Regardless of all of this I do not want a divorce. I love him sincerely. ( I’m mad I know)
He will not attend counselling, does not have any family or close friends. He will not speak to my family either. 
He told me that he will never stop what he is doing and if we are to stay married I will have to live with it. 
What do I do? He doesn’t speak to me as he says he wants this separation time to be a time for him to think. 
However it has come to light that he is talking and meeting another woman instead of trying to save our marriage since he has left the house. 
He is religious and that is why I need some Islamic advice on how to speak to him and guide him. I feel as if he is lost and needs some guidance, which he probably wouldn’t take from me. 
I often think of visiting the mosque he prays at and telling the imam what he is doing I have lots of photos of what he does. But I fear Allah swt and want to protect my children. 
He is using Islam to hide his real self and in the mist of it is me and our children.
I just don’t know what to do.
Someone needs to guide him.
 
Please please respond ASAP, I have contacted a few people for help, however not heard back from anyone. 
Please help me 
‎جزاك اللهُ خيرا‬
‎وعليكم السلام‬
 
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