Confused Teenager

Confused TeenagerCategory: OtherConfused Teenager
Muhammed asked 7 years ago

I am a 16 year old male in the U.S. In my year of high school i have struggled to make the grades i want to get into a good college but i never can. I resort to Allah (SWT) for help during my tests and getting me good grades but i feel he isn’t listening. I dont fully rely on him and i do all of the work and prepare myself greatly but i still manage to get C’s on my tests. Due to this i feel Allah hates me for my past actions, which i have given up for the sake of my personal happiness and Allah as well. So i continue to give up my sins over and over but what i ask for still seems to go unnoticed. I understand everything has a reason but what is the reason for me failing? It just puts me behind and makes me unsuccesful. I can never come up with a reason for why i do bad in school. Due to me feeling unnoticed by Allah i am moderatly depressed and contemplate on if Allah even exists to me because i continue to never have my prayers answered. I really want to become a better Muslim but its hard once i never get any reward at least in this life. I beg Allah to get me an amazing grade in just a math test that I myself study so hard for, but i still manage to get a bad grade. During Ramadan my parents always told me to make dua before iftaar because those prayers are surely answered and so far not even 1 has been answered. I feel like im the only one who feels like this and i really do feel Allah hates me. I contemplate on even converting out of Islam cause even the most littlest thing i do i feel guilty constantly, and feel that just my 1 sin will ruin the rest of my life. I see people do worse things than me but Allah keeps blessing them more and more. Please guide me to the righg thoughts. Jazak Allah